Diary of a Mad Black Fan: A Sirius Lover
by Blue Eyes At Night
Summary: A fic that consists of the diary entries of Sirius' girlfriend narrating the Marauder's 7th year at Hogwarts in all its hilarious detail. For what it is, its ok, dont' expect more then moderately good laughs. Read Review! COMPLETE!
1. The Evil of Grape Jelly

Diary of a Mad Black Fan: A Sirius Lover

By Blue Eyes At Night

_Note: This is part of what will eventually at some point in time become a series of Sirius/OC one-shots involving my character Aspen Stanton. I don't want to give too much away but she's quite the character…kind of a female version of Sirius and he's narcissistic enough to go for that. She's got very Marauder-esque feelings about pranks and rules and and ol' friend she has affectionately (yeah right) dubbed Snivvy-Wivvy. So, as PURE entertainment, here are snippets from Aspen's diary/day planner kind of thing for the sheer amusement of readers. Feel free to imagine yourself as Aspen, I think she's the type of character we all would love to be._

_Note Two: I kind of randomly selected a year but I think we're all in the consensus that the Marauders' seventh year was sometime in the 70s? I'm just choosing 74, I wasn't alive so I'm just guessing…_

Part One: September-October of Marauder's Seventh Year at Hogwarts

September 1, 1974

Came to Hogwarts and endured the longest Sorting of my LIFE. Possibly felt long because McGonagal made me sit at the opposite end of the table from Sirius. Something about "the inability to control ourselves". Not our fault we're randy.

Had to endure the whole James/ Lily unrequited love thing AGAIN. Swear if she doesn't go out with him I will personally put a love potion in her pumpkin juice.

September 5, 1974

A sad day, Filtch has decidedly added ever single one of the fifty five new Zonko's products to the Banned List. Not that it stops me from buying them but can now have to do it on sly. Normally "doing stuff on the sly" involves snogging Sirius in Astronomy Tower, am not looking forward to cutting into that time for Fanged Frisbees and Dung Bombs.

September 9, 1974

If Binns weren't dead would KILL him. Not only did I get a Troll grade on the monstrously hard test today, but got detention for making out with Sirius to make myself feel better. Really, it was Sirius or Slime Bouncers for a morale boost and me snogging my boyfriend does not involve half the classroom getting covered in five inches of sticky green slime.

September 10, 1974

Slime Bouncers have been added to Filtch's list. Bugger that man. Contemplating transfiguring Mrs. Norris into a tea kettle.

September 13, 1974

Detention for Binns was made far more entertaining when Sirius and James showed up outside the window and did crazy stunts on brooms. Lily walked in looking for a book on Mideval Charm-work and yelled at them for being such great idiots.

She definitely fancies James.

September 23, 1974

Have discussed plan with Sirius to slip Lily some Veritaserum. At least we can find out if she likes James.

And also what color knickers she wears. (Sirius insisted on flowered while I fought for pink)

September 27, 1974

After searching for Veritaserum have FINALLY found some. Might have promised to lone the Bloody Baron my body though…

September 28, 1974

Not only does Lily like James, but she doesn't wear knickers….who'd've known?

October 5, 1974

Quidditch match, Gryffindor (with James and Sirius) versus Slytherin (Why was I sorted in with those gits?)

Gryffindor slaughtered them 450 to 20.

Managed during that time to fill Snivvy-Wivvy's hat with grape jelly and put a permanent sticking charm on the soles of his shoes. Ah, the first Snape prank of the year, God that feels good.

October 6, 1974

Grape Jelly has been added to Filtch's list of Banned Items….think the house elves might have something to say about that.

October 11, 1974

If McGonagal didn't remind me so much of my grandmother, would Jelly-Legs Jinx her into next century. Got two weeks worth of detention for having a harmless bit of PDA with my boyfriend!

Also had a chair magically stuck to the butt of my robes because apparently Sirius' lap doesn't qualify as a seat. And apparently snogging doesn't count as practicing Transference even though I clarified that she neither instructed us that the transference had to be magical or that it couldn't involve transferring my boyfriend's tongue into my mouth.

October 15, 1974

It took Sirius 4 days to nail the same amount of detention as me. I think McGonagal made the other teacher's hold off on the punishment because she knew he was trying to keep me company.

But I guess Summoning the Giant Squid into Snivvy-Wivvy's cauldron during potions was too big for even McGonagal to overlook.

October 18, 1974

I have discovered a deep love for cleaning cauldrons. Did you know that if you engorge them you can fit two people in there sound as a pound? Hehehehe.

October 21, 1974

The Marauders have, reluctantly, come to terms with the fact that their final Halloween prank in Hogwarts is fast approaching and Sirius won't give me any hints as to what it is.

Maybe I'll have to wonder up to the Gryffindor dorms and persuade him a bit.

October 23, 1974

Despite a whole weekend of persuasion, Sirius will not slip a word about the prank. Have threatened him with Veritaserum, though won't use it. Suppose will just have to try more, er, "persuation".

October 26, 1974

Almost forgot Remus was a werewolf. Didn't even realize that September had a full moon. Poor chap might be too sickly to involve himself in prank.

October 29, 1974

Remus has made a very fast recovery and James and Sirius have dangerous glint in their eyes. Lily is nervous but I'm excited….wonder how much stuff Filtch will ban after Halloween?

October 31, 1974

Am dating world's GREATEST prankster. Well…suppose Lily is too….oh well…

Imagine seeing everyone's faces when at breakfast in the Great Hall not only does EVERY SINGLE goblet start attacking its owners (except of course those belonging to the Marauders and their girlfriends) and not only does all the cutlery start tangoing, but all of the hats on the head of every teacher burst into the most vulgar songs ever written.

Dumbledore cracked a smile, McGonagal cracked a whip.

Ah well, she's lived through us for seven years, I reckon she can handle one more.

_Note Again: Well….this looks like its turning into a shoddy humor fic, will go through entirety of seventh year through these short entries. Feel free to suggest stuff, I might run out of ideas. If you like it, great. If you don't…bugger off to a different fic! Lol, just kidding._

_Read/ review!_


	2. Packages, Parents and TableDancing

_Author's Note: Wow! Reviews! I didn't think I'd get too much of a calling for this fic, but a few voices is good enough for me! On with the diary entries we go! (Ain't she something? I imagine her as just the type to entertain Sirius)_

November 1, 1974

Am displeased to report that Filtch has a heart. Well, he has tear ducts anyway. The Marauders got sent down to him for the detentions resulting from their Halloween stunt and found him sobbing his eyes out. Apparently could not add more stuff to Banned List as Halloween Prank involved absolutely no outside objects.

Also must note that House-Elves have begun to rebel against the Banning of Grape Jelly by making the remaining preserves very tart. So tart that there was a Hufflepuff boy name of Abbott with his face stuck in a pucker for hours.

Am thinking Filtch will need another hanky, do not know how much longer Dumbledore will go for the rebellion of the kitchen staff.

November 4, 1974

How did I get in NEWT Muggle Studies? Honestly! It's always been my worst ruddy subject. Have found out today that we will be assigned a project that will weigh in for 103 of our final grade.

Bugger.

On bright note, Sirius jinxed Snivvy's nose into an actual beak and spelled him so that he could only talk in squawks. That cheered me up….so did that lunchtime sprint to library where we had a very important snogging session behind some great, thick book. Surprisingly Madame Pince didn't peck at us, but then she was busy writing a note to someone on this pink, smelly parchment.

If Pince has a sweetheart, I might go live with the giant squid for a bit. Drowning might just temporarily remove that god-awful image form my head.

November 6, 1974

Was duped by James into agreeing to double-date with him and Lily on their first Hogsmeade trip together.

Have bad feeling about this…

November 7,1974

Bad feeling about Hogsmeade justified as Lily led us STRAIGHT to Madame Puddifoot's. Well, you can imagine how well Sirius and I took to a room full of starry-eyed love birds cooing at each other.

So after we both vomited profusely, we occupied our time by jinxing all of the doves flying about the room so that they'd dive at the heads of patrons.

Sadly, were thrown out. Well, we were, James and Lily were allowed to stay but have been warned that they were on thin ice.

Spent rest of Hogsmeade buying some new Zonko products and making out in Shrieking Shack. For a werewolf hide out that's decrepit and torn apart, its kind of homey….needs throw pillows though. Will discuss that with Remus later.

November 10, 1974

Remus has shot down throw pillow idea though I have convinced him to let me put sheets on the bed….after all it might be getting some use and its hard to spell doors shut, put silencing charms on the walls, materialize bed sheets and pillows out of thin air AND maintain the mood.

November 13, 1974

Sluggy-Wuggy's throwing a party. Since James is going with Lily, Sirius is making me accept an invitation. I do not like my Head of House but am sure Sirius will find numerous ways to….entertain me.

November 14, 1974

A day worthy of note because Dumbledore finally forced Filtch to remove "jelly" from Banned List.

It took two Ravenclaw first years being sent to Madame Pomphrey because of the tartness of the current preserves for him to put his foot down.

Filtch was devastated, spent all day trudging up and down the hallways hugging Mrs. Norris and sobbing when he didn't think we were watching. Also saw him make mysterious visits to the Library…will investigate.

November 19, 1974

After recruiting Sirius, Remus and Peter (Lily refused to let James participate…can you say whipped?) to help discover the meaning of a Squib like Filtch making numerous visits to a magical library have unearthed the horrid truth…… Filtch and Pince are having and "on again, off again" affair.

Currently in "on again" stage.

Will not eat for a week despite the presence of normal preserves again.

November 21, 1974

Was force fed by Sirius even though horrible images kept going through my head. Haven't been able to snog my own boyfriend because I keep seeing Filtch's rotted out teeth and….vomit stain on page

Snog Withdrawal and Hunger might just get me out of DADA exam on the previous legality of Unforgivable Curses.

November 23, 1974

Did not get out of DADA exam though passed out in the hall right before Potions started. Oddly convienent.

Madame Pomphrey told me I was being a dolt and said the only remedy I needed was a good kick in the pants.

Sirius heard "good" "in the pants" and got this marvelous glint in his eye.

Have gotten over previous snogging problem….and developed quite an appetite in the process.

November 25, 1974

Quidditch match, Ravenclaw Versus Slytherin. Went on for five bloody hours before the Slytherin Seeker (in the process of doing flips on their broom) was hit in the head by the Snitch and managed to catch it. 250-100! Just goes to show how awful they both are, I suppose. Ravenclaw's never have a good team, bloody bookworms.

November 27, 1974

Muggle Studies assigned projects today. I chose the lesser of two evil by selecting to do Modern Muggle Music and Its Similarity/Difference to Wizarding Music over Describe the Phenomenon of Cigarette Lighters and Clap-On Lights.

Bugger!

Took Sirius a trip to Honeydukes for their fabulous Milk Chocolate and Mint Pixies (eat them before they buzz around the room chucking things at your head) as well as a caseload of Butterbeer to cheer me up.

November 30, 1974

Spent all weekend paying Sirius back for cheering me up after Muggle Studies dropped the Bludger. Bought him a bottle of Fire-Whiskey and traded sexual favors for the only wizard card he didn't have from his chocolate frog collection. Who'd've guessed Leonardo DaVinci was that hard to come by?

December 4, 1974

Spotted perfect Christmas gift for Sirius in Daily Prophet today. Hope I can get one it time…

December 14, 1974

Has taken a long time to acquire it, but Operation Perfect Christmas is underway. The Package is being delivered to his apartment, the other half of it will be owled to me by Thursday…. This is going to be such a lovely Christmas!

December 16, 1974

Other half of Package came today. Lily keeps mocking me about my gift and my secret code for it. Sirius is dying for it, he's been trying to ….persuade….me to tell him what it is.

Lily has invited James to her house for Christmas, apparently it took him weeks to acquire this invite because Lily's ashamed of her sister. Some skinny buck-toothed snot who hates wizards. Odd though, Lily's parents are very supportive.

December 18, 1974

The Marauders, Lily and I all crammed into a compartment on Hogwarts Express to go home for Christmas Holiday. Poor Remus is going to have to deal with a full moon landing on Christmas! Poor poor Lupin. At least he'll have good friends and good gifts to cheer him up.

Peter is apparently with some distant family for the Holiday. Not that I mind, not fond of Peter. He stares at me funny.

James looks a bit green….meeting the parents can't be easy. So lucky Sirius and I managed to avoid that.

December 20, 1974

Gave Sirius first half of Christmas present today because he's been curious…and when he's curious he tries to bribe me into telling him things….and he's good at bribery. The Leather jacket was a bit tight on him, but it will stretch out in time.

December 22, 1974

I just LOVE the look on his face every time he walks passed the HUMUNGUS box, covered in dancing reindeer paper with a big red bow and a card that says: To Fluffy From Snuggly-Bum

December 24, 1974

Oddly alone because the others are all busy. We entertained ourselves by making guesses as to what was happening between Lily's family and James. Eventually just drank a bunch of wine and went to bed early, snuggled into the warm covers and went to sleep.

December 25, 1974

I am dating a five year old! I swear I am! He woke me up at bloody 5 A.M.! Pulling me out of bed he shoved a present at me and the lunged at his big box, tearing at it like a hungry wolf.

He (thoughtfully?) got me some saucy lingerie and this gorgeous diamond and ruby pendant. Although, I can't expect his gifts to come close to mine…I mean….I bought him a bloody flying motorbike.

We flew to James' house and picked up he and Lily. While the boys played with Sirius' new toy (they really are five years old, I swear) Lily told me that he parents adored him but her sister gave him pamphlets for a school called Saint Brutus' Academy for Criminals and Hopeless Cases or some such nonsense. The nerve! I'd love to meet her! "Happy Christmas! Here's a Jelly-Legs Jinx for you, hope it fits!"

We all went to see Remus, he too instantly in love with the new bike. Sirius called it Snuggle-bum and made me blush every time he spoke about it by referring to it by name. Eventually I had to tell him, "Keep in mind which Snuggle-bum you prefer, dear, or I can kip over at Lily's."

Though kipping over at Lily's would've involved jinxing Petunia….sadly Sirius remembered which Snuggle-bum he preferred.

December 28, 1974

Have had relaxing few days spent mostly shagging my boyfriend and watching him coddle his bike like a baby. God, if I had known it would usurp me I would never have bought the bloody thing…but he does like it.

Wonder if he can smuggle it back into Hogwarts?

December 31, 1974

Big New Year's Eve party at the Potter's, never seen Lily smashed before. Luckily she was sober when she met James' parents…though it wasn't by lack of effort on my part.

Note that if Remus has three shots of Fire Whiskey, he starts table-dancing and singing "Black Magic Woman". Would've thought a werewolf could hold liquor better….and sing on key!

Happy Last Entry of '74!

_Note: I don't know if you like it or not but I'd love to hear! Review! Send ideas, feedback. If you noticed the entries are getting longer, I guess there's more the tell the farther you go in the year._

_Review!_


	3. Peter, Muffin & Bubbly? Kissin Cousins

A/N- Glad you guys are amused! Aspen's been a pet of mine for a while, it feels good to finally use her. As for the request that we get some steaminess…. Sure! Hehehehe! We all want some naked Sirius, don't we?

Part Three- January- February of the Marauder's Seventh Year- 1975

January 1, 1975

ARG! The Light! The Light! OoO! Boyfriend! Snuggle

January 4, 1975

Having just emerged from hangover after New Year's Party on the Hogwarts Express, will attempt to find out what happened and who it happened with.

Later that Night

I solemnly swear I will never drink again! (And this time…I mean it!). So…After Remus' decided to entertain us with his musical escapades, Lily and I decided to do a striptease which I only vaguely remember…But I maintain that James and Sirius WAY overreacted because when "Son of a Preacherman" comes on, you're required to dance. Besides, we didn't get mad when they impersonated Gary Glitter and sang "Leader of a the Gang". All in all, Peter was the only one who didn't make a musical ass out of himself….then again he was so bloody gone that proposed to my cat who proceeded to claw at his face when he made to kiss her. Good kitty!

So after that, we were so immensely drunk that we all fell into James' room and passed out.

The next morning a very amused Mr. Potter jokingly suggested that the best cure for a hangover was more liquor….so what did we do? We sent Peter out to get booze and proceeded to get doubly as smashed as we had been last night. Since we were confined to one room, with one bed and two couples we kind of fought over who got the bed and who had to conjure cots. James won, of course. Damn him. Though from what Lily tells me they didn't shag….but they had a lot of fun nonetheless. As for Sirius and I…apparently we have no shame.

Yep, you guessed it. Sirius and I shamelessly shagged in front of four of our closest friends under what was apparently a very worn….thin….full of holes….blanket that was moving in what I'm told (by Lily) were "extremely awkward" and told (by James) "Bloody brilliant!" positions. According to Remus there were also very odd noises coming out of that moving blob of gray. They were described as "animalistic, rough and bubbly." Where Bubbly came from I have no bloody clue.

Apparently hangovers and afterglow really don't work to get a body out of bed and Sirius and I were living zombies until this morning. Though the feast perked us up…especially when Lily sent a hex to Narcissa that charmed zits the size of sickles on her face. Hehe, we're rubbing off on Lily…and its about bloody time! Ouch! Headache!

January 5, 1975

Wow, it really is a new year? The novelty hasn't yet worn off that I'm graduating in a few months… but until then I am still in Hogwarts. Until then I am still dating a Marauder. Which means: havoc. Pure, unadulterated havoc.

So while we were having a Dung Bomb fight with Peeves in the Charms corridor before lunch (shouldn't EVERY sentence start like that?) making sure that Mrs. Norris was good and buried beneath a few before continuing, my dear dear Cousin Bellatrix the bitch showed up.

During the course of a few good-natured (ok…maybe not) hexes and name calling, I found out that the boy I've been dating for a year is ALSO cousins with Bellatrix.

Weird.

So after flinging a Dung Bomb into an awkward place of Bella's anatomy, we got to talking and discovered, hey! We're like 3rd cousins twice removed! I can't really tell whether it's nifty or creepy.

But it's fucking funny.

I remember looking at Sirius, covered in Dung Bombs, and saying, "So…you're my cousin."

And he got this really wolfish grin on his face and retorted, "Kissing cousin."

I smiled evilly and said, "_Shagging_ cousins more like it."

Evans was a bit freaked out…Peter seemed oddly turned on. Perv.

January 7, 1975

Filtch has added ribbons onto the list of Banned Items because Sirius made this little first year Hufflepuff's hair-ribbon spell out vulgar words.

For some reason I think we'll be getting another veto from Dumbledore.

I just hope Filtch doesn't run into the library for a bit of comfort…cause this time I would be forced to make Lily witness it which is going to cut James off from his snogging partner which is going to piss him off which is going to piss Sirius off which means I can get mad at him for getting mad at me and make him buy me things. evil smile Sharing is caring!

January 9, 1975

Ribbons removed from Banned List, will be trailing Filtch.

Later that day

Sent Lily into Library for book at strategically planned time so as to catch Filtch and Pince "in the act".

She fainted and was rushed to the hospital wing. After a number of spells and potions, she woke up and vomited for a good twenty minutes before telling James, quite solemnly, that she wasn't going to be able to have the stomach to make-out with him ever again.

Sirius had to fend James off of me once he armed himself with a candelabra.

Hehehe, the plan is in motion.

January 12, 1975

My pumpkin juice was spiked yesterday morning. Spiked with a love potion that he set on Peter and didn't tell anyone about it. Sirius thought I was under the Imperius Curse and even brought me to McGonagall exclaiming, "Bloody look at her, woman! She's about to _shag_ Peter-Ruddy-Pettigrew! Help my girlfriend! Fix her!"

To which she replied, "This is not a matter of an Unforgivable Curse, Mr. Black and the next time you want something fixed you might want to consider how it became broken."

"Are you suggested that having hot-pig sex with me numerous times a week has addled her brain?"

"Mr. Black, that is far more information than I ever cared to have, now if you'll excuse me I'm going to see Professor Dumbledore about a Memory Charm that might take that dreadful image out of my head."

As she scurried away Sirius, angry and insulted, shouted, "Oh you know you want me!"

Mind you, while this was going on, I was RIPPING Peter's clothes to shreds and basically raping him. Well…you can't rape the willing, can you? I nearly deflowered the token virgin of our group (because obviously someone will eventually have to take over for Evans).

When the potion cleared itself out of my system, this afternoon, and Sirius told me what happened I flung myself into the lake hoping the giant squid would kill me. I mean…I had _snogged_ Peter Pettigrew! I'm contaminated with him now! I put my hand down the trousers of …..shudder. In short, I will not allow Sirius to touch me until I am cleansed.

And that's a lot of bloody cleansing.

January 13, 1975

James confessed to spiking my pumpkin juice.

Consequently, Sirius and I made to kill him and nearly took out Wormtail who was trying to kiss his hand.

It took Professor Dumbledore two tries to get us off of James and when he did he assigned us all very long detentions.

Of course, I argued that I was the victim and asked Dumbledore what he'd do if he'd been made to snog Peter. He said, "I imagine I'd have a lemon drop, their very good you know."

You know…I always thought Dumbledore was a bit…off. I dunno. I still maintain that he and McGonagall must party something terrible during the holidays.

January 22, 1975

After ten days without so much as a good-night snog, after ten days of continually bathing, gargling and brushing my teeth, after ten days of sleeping in my own bed (who does that?) and after ten days of dealing with the most depressed boyfriend in history….I feel I am fully cleansed from touching the ratty one.

It was bad. I mean…for over a year now neither Sirius or myself has been so much as a half an hour without inconspicuously "going to the bathroom" together or "reviewing for the Astronomy final" or….well there are a lot of sayings so I'll just skip that. So after more then a week of giving up snogging (cold-turkey mind you) even Professor McGonagall suggested that we get a room…and not in the manner she usually does!

We were in the middle of learning how to conjure food items already cooked and seasoned and all that jazz (ruddy hard stuff but I reckon a might easier then trying to do it the Muggle way) and Sirius was just staring into space, absentmindedly flicking his wand and consequently sending plucked chickens clucking around the room hell-bent on destruction but he didn't notice. As McGonagall vanished the birds she whispered in my ear, "For the sake of the safety of your fellow students I believe it is time for you and Mr. Black to get over whatever problems you may be having….immediately. Care to go to the bathroom?"

Well….we didn't exactly make it to the bathroom…we made it to the hallway.

Good thing that no classes let out early…or a couple of first-years might never be the same.

January 27, 1975

Lily looks odd…kind of glowy. And James is all smiley. Sirius reckons that at last Hogsmeade visit they spent one hour too many in Madame Puddifoot's and now were permanently infused with that disgustingly cutesy couple thing. Ew.

Must note: Snogged boyfriend so thoroughly at dinner today that three Slytherins fainted from sheer disgust. Brilliant.

January 28, 1975

James and Lily still weird…am definitely concerned. Remus noticed too….Peter wouldn't notice unless it was attached to a doughnut…bloody rat.

January 29, 1975

Dear Sweet Merlin! James and Lily shagged! faints

February 2, 1975

After berating Lily for not telling me that she shagged James (and imparting a few tips as to sneaking up to the boys' dormitory as well as finding the Marauder's room in the dark) I forced her to impart all the details she could tactfully give me…and then some!

Must note….Sirius is better endowed then James  Always knew it!

February 11, 1975

Aside from ribbing James and Lily more then usual and attempting to avoid falling into the sickeningly romantic notion of Valentine's Day that is fast approaching, nothing extraordinary has happened.

I mean, there was that whole Snivvy-Wivvy thing. Okay, so in order to practice charms from both Potions and Transfiguration, we gave Snivvy-Wivvy a small drop of some sleeping potion so that he was as out as a cock at a bachelor's party. Then we transfigured his clothing into a clown and made these little tear drops on his face. After a while "Sad Clown" woke up, came to dinner, and had everyone rolling on the floor in laughter.

Fifty points to Lily for making the sleeping potion and fifty to Remus for not handing us into Dumbledore (yet again) and a billion points to James and Sirius for pulling that stunt off! God I love them!

February 12, 1975

Clowns added to Banned List….sometimes I wonder what is Filtch smoking and does he have any extra?

February 13, 1975

Friday the 13, apparently it's a superstitious thing for some Muggles so Sirius and I tormented Lily by transfiguring whatever she was currently holding into a black cat or a broken mirror. She was pissed.

On a better note: REMUS WAS ASKED OUT ON A VALENTINE'S DAY DATE! HOW BLOODY FANTASTIC IS THAT!

She's a Ravenclaw in our year name of Julia. Kinda pretty, I guess, but mainly just smart with a "good personality". But nothing terrible, I like her fine as she is one of the few students left in the school who hasn't A) propositioned me or B) asked me how it is that I am not as of yet knocked up being the slag that I am.

I might've had to aim my wand at his balls to keep him from saying "No" but it's all worth it. I mean…if there's one thing I know, its dogs. And wolves are like dogs. And from what I knew about Moony….he needed to get laid. Badly.

February 14, 1975

Last Valentine's Day of Hogwarts! Yay!

Okay, so James and Lily were disgusting. It was absolutely gross. Enough to make even this Voldemort character lose his cookies.

So James began by having a cupid fly in a bouquet of roses amid the jealous coos of about every other girl in Hogwarts. Then he transfigured the pumpkin juice into pink champagne and the griddle-cakes into chocolate crepes (apparently Lily likes those) and then had a small army of trained doves present her with a basket that had a big red bow and emitted a frighten "meow!" as it was dropped on the table. Inside was the most revoltingly cute kitten I'd ever seen. Calico with a fuzzy tail and big, sad eyes.

The PDA from those two…sheer nausea.

Feeling quite smug Lily comes up to me, "So what did you get Sirius for Valentine's Day?"

A looked at her like she grew another bloody head, "Are you joking? I got him a bloody flying motorbike for Christmas! That still counts!"

Rolling her eyes she said, "Well, then what did he get you?"

I looked at him and wiggled my eyebrows and he had a grin the size of a Hungarian Horntail.

Standing up he began fumbling with his fly, "Would you really like to see?"

James had SOMETHING to say about THAT.

Pity though….would've shut Lily up.

As it was, we decided that, just for the sake of romanticism, we WON'T put a Silencing Charm on the curtains around Sirius' bed…just so everyone could hear just how deeply in love we were.

February 15, 1975

Got some weird looks as we pulled back the curtains from Sirius' bed this morning. Apparently I sounded like a moo-cow at some point during the night. The other noises were described as "frightening, slightly sexy, and bubbly".

Again I have NO bloody clue where the hell Bubbly is coming from. Sirius and I will have to discuss that at some point.

February 23, 1975

Muggle Studies teacher check up on our progress and told me that "I was not only behind but dangerously unprepared."

To which I replied, "In other words everything's normal."

February 26, 1975

Am planning to kill Lily's cat. Bloody monster. She named it "Muffin" and "Muffin" is about to get fed to Hagrid's dog because "Muffin", cute, cuddly, Muffy-Wuffy decided to use my leather backpack as a scratching post! Bloody mongrel's going to die.

_Author's Note: So….this is considerably longer then the first two entries as well as far more fleshed out. Hoping to have some positive feedback for it! _

_Review!_


	4. Greatest April Fool Ever!

_Author's Note: Sorry its been a while, I've been attempting to get some stuff put up at Checkmated and FictionAlley and it's been time consuming._

_What has been every one's favorite moment so far? Hopefully I won't let you down! Only a few months left to go!_

March-April of 1975, the Marauder's 7th Year at Hogwarts

March 5, 1975

Lily and I are fighting all because I transfigured her "adorable kitten" into a walking tea cozy. Bloody mongrel deserved it. I warned it not to go near my favorite pair of leather boots! The mangy fur ball had a death wish!

James and Sirius are being completely unsupportive of our feelings as they not only encourage us to fight but often offer to arrange for a nice mud patch for us to fight on.

They are so weird.

March 9, 1975

I have to hand it to Evans, she's got a big set of brass ones. Bigger than I thought. She slipped me some potion I don't know the name of who's sole purpose is for the drinker to not have any verbal inhibitions. Not that I have many but this took down the few walls I have.

On a related note: must start watching cup more carefully, this is second time my pumpkin juice has been made to turn against me.

March 10, 1975

Sirius has threatened to put that ruddy potion of Evans' in my juice everyday as I went about all day yesterday (and I good loud portion of the night) screaming his praises. One particularly great moment was where Sprout turned to me in Herbology and said, "Miss Stanton, do you have any concern about plants? If you put even a FRACTION of the attention into this plant that you did into Mr. Black…"

"Yeah, well, I can't help it if these stupid things don't have a package as deserving of attention as his."

I even had a couple of Slytherin's tell me that one was brilliant.

March 16, 1975

Tension with Evans has reached critical mass. Am not going to be able to hold out much longer.

Ruddy cat went after my favorite sweater this morning and if that beast TOUCHES my new scarf, the wands are OUT!

March 18, 1975

Not ONLY did that ruddy wad of fuzz CLAW MY SCARF INTO SPAGETTI but I was wearing it when she did! Not only was I wearing it! I was laid out on the great big couch in the Gryffindor common room at two in the morning with Sirius. We were playing magician and assistant. He was the magician and I was the assistant. When Claws attacked he was making various parts of his body..er…disappear.

So as he was unclasping my bra with his tongue (don't ask, it's just something he can do), I start gagging because my scarf is being yanked tightly against my throat. So Sirius and I tumble into an awkward position that resulted in him banging a very sensitive part of his anatomy on an end table and screaming in agony.

I realize at this point that Lily's little kitten has just scratched her ninth life the hell away!

However, I did not have time to kill said menace as Sirius' agonized cry had awoken half of Gryffindor tower… and just IMAGINE how funny the Marauder's thought it was to see Sirius and I in various states on undress with him curled up in a fetal position assessing the damage done to the family jewels and me starting to chase precious little Muffin up the girl's stairs.

Muffin ran right into Lily's arms which is when the wands came OUT. Well…figuratively speaking.

My wand was resting comfortably next to Sirius' in his dormitory so I had to revert to a more…Muggle approach. I slapped her right across the face and told her if she didn't control that ruddy cat I was going to give her a pair of fuzzy earrings made from the remains of Muffin the Calico Kitten from Hell.

Slightly pissed Lily pushed me down the stairs but I took her with me. Before I know it we were rolling around the floor just scratching, clawing, and slapping each other. Ripping clothes and pulling hair and kicking….you know: real fighting.

It's not how boys fight where they get all offended and expect their loyal friends to hold them back. We fought like…well…girls. Nails, hair, I mean, there were no rules.

It was a good ten minutes until we suddenly found ourselves in a vat of warm mud as we continued to claw each other, usually only managing to get hold of the other's shirt.

It was another five minutes before we realized that the boy's were cheering. I mean all the boys. The entirety of the Gryffindor male population was watching us and cheering. Four boys in particular. Two boys who were almost crying they were so happy.

Sirius seemed to have made a miraculous recovery from the end table and was giving James a one armed hug, saying, "This is the happiest day of my life."

James replied, "I didn't think it would actually happen but now that is has, I wouldn't have it any other way."

Oh, boy was that the wrong thing to say to two pissed off, muddy, half-naked girls at 3 o'clock in the morning. At the same time we summoned our wands from our rooms and as soon as they touched our hands we jinxed our boyfriends into their next lifetime.

By 4 a.m. Lily and I were washing off the last of the mud and couldn't have been closer if we were sisters….go figure I guess.

March 26, 1975

Do you know that if you transfigure a slimy git into a seashell and hold him up to your ear….you can hear him scream?

I thought I'd hear the ocean but not over that racket. Damn, Snivvy has a set of lungs on him.

March 27, 1975

Seashells added to Banned List.

Marauders and I have made a pact to see if we can get Filtch to ban clothing….might be a couple hours of immense amusement before Dumbledore wrangled it back off the list.

March 29, 1975

Lily has FINALLY done something about that stupid cat. She put a Blunt Charm on her claws so that they weren't sharp. She also bought me a new scarf…gotta love that Lily Evans. Always thinking.

March 31, 1975

Does it mean something serious when you miss a period? Hm.

The boys have been up all night preparing what we're assured will be the most memorable April Fool's Day in Hogwarts history.

April 1, 1975

Filtch began patrolling the halls at 3 a.m….say the ghosts anyway. They were saying he kind of freaked them out, clutching a mop like a teddy bear and mumbling to himself about "dangerous boys".

Well…can't say the old boy didn't have it coming. This whole year is one perfectly orchestrated prank after another that will all culminate in a sort of fare-thee-well-Filtch-you-know-you're-going-to-miss-the-tension-headaches from the Marauders.

And they didn't disappoint.

Everyone was watching them at breakfast…but nothing happened. Even Dumbledore was sipping his goblet of pumpkin juice with one eye warily tracking every motion of the four most mischievous boys in school.

I was kind of bummed that breakfast was so quiet, everyone thought that….maybe lunch! Maybe lunch was when the Greatest Prank of All Time was going to happen.

But lunch came and went without even a loud sneeze.

By dinner every single person in the school was on the edge of their seat. Filtch's heart had jumped out of rhythm so many times I'm frankly surprised he didn't just give in and tuck his head under his pillow for the rest of the day.

Dinner was winding down without incident and Filtch couldn't bare it anymore. He ran up to the Marauders and screamed, "Just do it you bloody prats! Just do the ruddy prank already! Do it! Do your worst!"

It was Remus who spoke up, "Sir, we take offence to that. We've grown up. Grown past our pranking days."

"Yes, sir, he's right." James peeped up, "We're looking at jobs and graduating. No time for jokes."

"And what about family, sir? Wouldn't be a very good role model for the littlies if all we did day and night was cause mayhem." Sirius pulled me close for effect, "We've got to think about the future, sir."

"Yup, the future and jobs, sir! And our NEWTs!" Peter sqeauked, the rat's voice would never break!

Filtch had to be escorted out of the dining room by Hagrid and the entirety of the student body looked at the Marauders in awe, parting like a street walker's legs as the boys, Lily and I made to go back to our dorm rooms.

We got as far as the door of the Great Hall when all the boys lazily flicked their wands.

You could hear Filtch screaming from 500 miles away.

Numerous grey globs of fabric and one hissing, fretting cat, were being magically pulled through the Great Hall. Filtch was running behind them clutching two mopheads (one in front and one in back) due to the fact that every article of clothing he had been wearing was summoned off his body and was currently racing ahead of him faster then he could run.

After a fair few people blew their chunks at seeing Filtch the way he was they all filed out to follow him. Dumbledore, I swear, smirked at us, before following out the crowd. James led the way to a short-cut which brought us to the Whomping Willow.

In front of that wicked tree Filtch was jumping up and down trying to grab his clothing from the branches (who of course kept flicking it away). He didn't have a spare hand to grab with so he was jumping and attempting to grab the clothes with his teeth.

Meanwhile Remus flicked his wand at the tree and the branches not currently teasing Filtch bent so that they read: Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs would like to wish Mr. Filtch a very happy last April Fool's Day.

"You ruddy hooligans!" Filtch cried as he kept jumping after his clothes. Remus flicked his wand again and the branches contorted again spelling out:

On a personal note Mr. Moony would like to say that he is sorry Filtch will not have so much fun again, the evil bugger.

Peter flicked his wand and the branches changed again: Mr. Wormtail wishes Mr. Filtch a nice life and recommends he be careful what he wish for next time.

Sirius looked at me, gave me a great big sloppy kiss and flicked his wand: Mr. Padfoot would like to congratulate Mr. Filtch on surviving this long and hopes he has the energy to deal with future generations of Marauders.

James, one arm around Lily, flicked his wand: Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot heartily and would like to add that Mr. Filtch looks ravishing in mops.

All together they swung their wands up and the clothes sprang from the Whomping Willow and began tap-dancing about Filtch singing:

_Oh you may think it's over now,_

_That we're about to go,_

_But don't think that we are gone for good,_

_'Cause there's something you should know._

_Though we might be pranksters now,_

_We can't be that way long,_

_So what will happen to these four,_

_After we are gone?_

_One day we'll all settle down,_

_(As settled as we could ever be),_

_And one day in eleven years,_

_You'll see little _(and at this point all the clothes transfigured into miniature versions of the Marauders) _me, me, me's!_

The clothes promptly turned back into clothes and the entire student body erupted in the grandest applause.

Even Peeves saw what happened and took off that stupid hat he wears, saluting the four pranksters that strode into the castle as though they owned it.

Ah…April started out good.

April 2, 1975

Filtch has actually added clothing charms to the banned list….house elves are DEFINITELY going to have something to say about that.

April 7, 1975

The house elves, being unable to use charms on clothes, have refused to do laundry. Dumbledore is personally fighting with Filtch as we speak.

April 9, 1975

After a long, long battle Dumbledore convinced Filtch that clothing charms could not be banned in a school where thousands of dirty hampers depended on charms for cleaning.

April 16, 1975

You know…supposedly I get my period mid-month. Skipped March…and appear to be skipping April. If ruddy thing doesn't arrive by 19th will consult Lily.

April 21, 1975

Lily's all in a tizzy because she's convinced I'm dying or pregnant. I hope she doesn't tell James cause then I can't lie to Sirius about it.

April 24, 1975

Ruddy Evans. James has been smiling at me all day, like he's nervous or something. Remus is all…well he's just come off a transformation so he's not really talking but he's looking at me funny. Peter…well…Peter just looks funny.

And Sirius strolls up to me at dinner, whistling, and asks, "So…you knocked up or what?"

I decided to return his sentimentality by hitting him square in the face with a big plate of mashed potatoes.

April 27, 1975

Sirius seems to be taking my missing period as the world's greatest prank to play on Filtch. He fully intends to find out if "the rabbit died" because then he can personally go up to Filtch and guarantee that in eleven years there will be a mini Sirius Black/me combo running around the school.

I reckon he wants to tell McGonagall too, make her day.

April 30, 1975

You know, with that nasty pregnancy possibility lingering over my head, hexing Snivvy-Wivvy isn't nearly so much fun.

But then again, hexing him twice doesn't hurt anyone (well…he doesn't count!)

_Author's Note: Dear Lord, is that…is that a plot forming? Oh my…can't be good._

_Did you guys like that? Sort of a Marauder's Map Prisoner of Azkaban moment with the tree I thought…_

_REVIEW! PLEASE! And feel free to suggest stuff or offer anecdotes from your own life. Come on don't be shy!_


	5. Old Flames Burn Down the House

_(there are A LOT of Author's Notes, bear with me…or skip them! The chapter is there…somewhere)_

_Author's note: Hello reviewers! Woot! Lovely to see some of the Daughter of Telcontar fans still hanging around (I think you'll find this fic moves a lot faster i.e. it actually gets updated pretty frequently) (yay!) _

_I was glad everyone was as shocked as I was that a plot emerged…in the original draft it was slightly more amusing but I won't spoil anything (yet) I'll try to remember to explain the premise of the original draft at the end of this chapter so that nothing is spoiled smiles_

_Also: someone (you know who you are) gave a review that not only entertained but inspired me…something about "old flames burn down the house" wink_

_Another also: I've dug deep into my heart (snort) and attempted to draw aspen, although my artist friend undoubtedly did a better job. I will upload both at some point and give links if anyone's interested._

_Another another note: I have relatives sleeping in my computer room and therefore the updating, writing process is going to be a bit…difficult. But I'll do my best. Also school starts September 7, and although it's my senior year (holla) I still have to do work so again, bear with me on that._

_Most important note: I have discovered in the process of looking at signatures on FictionAlley two quotes that so PERFECTLY describe Aspen that its ridiculous and they are:_

"_If you can't be a good example, be a dire warning."_

_And_

"_It's better to burn out then to fade away." – Kurt Cobain_

_Alrighty then: chapter it is!_

**May 1975, the Marauder's Seventh and Final Year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry affectionately called "The Palace of Boom Boom" in some private circles (cough Aspen and Sirius cough)**

May 5, 1975

Have decided that in order to shut up Sirius and Lily will have to find out if (as my loving boyfriend so delicately put it) I'm knocked up.

Later

After convincing Lily to knick some ingredients from Sluggy-Wuggy and claiming Peter's rabbit foot (it took Sirius and James holding down Peter and prying it from his hands saying "Wormtail, no amount of footless rabbits will ever buy you any luck" to do this) I put together the potion that would decide my fate…

Okay so Lily put together the potion that would decide my fate but I can pretend, right?

So anyways, the potion got brewed and Sirius called an emergency meeting of the Marauders in front of the Gryffindor fireplace at 3 am.

A handful of baby's breath, a pinch of lilac dust, a sprig of holly, two cubes of sugar, a teaspoon of spice, three snails, the petrified tail of a dog and two drops of blood later, all I had to do was stir the cauldron counter-clockwise for as many months as I had been a broken typewriter (at least Lily said that about the skipped periods once, here I am a NEWT Muggle Studies and I couldn't tell you if a typewriter was animal, vegetable, mineral or sex toy) (you know…the 4 categories of being).

So I stirred it once…twice…and the potion swirled around a bright shade of blue. Lily read the directions aloud, "Red means relief and blue means….Bugger, how'd you manage that? I mean…don't you use any preventative measures?"

"Yeah, we use spells, of course," Sirius said, looking from the cauldron to me and then focusing on Lily like she grew another head, "you do know that the spells aren't 100 percent effective, right?"

You know, no one can patronizingly roll her eyes quite like Lily Evans, "Of course I know that, but the odds of the spell being defective are something like once in every five thousand, seven hundred and eighty uses."

Sirius scrunched up his face in intense concentration for a few minutes and then looked at me, "That's about right, isn't it?"

"Somewhere in that general range, I think…wait did you count up until I missed my period or did you include after?"

"Either way, that spell got some serious mileage on it."

"Some _Sirius_ mileage, you mean." And we both giggled alittle, but the others were all silent. I guess they didn't know what to say.

I can't really describe how I felt, exactly…not overjoyed, but not upset. A bit surprised, obviously, but all in all just kind of adjusting to the news, which I thought was a pretty normal reaction, or at least as normal as one can have in that particular situation.

Lily seemed to consider it a capital sin, "I can't believe you're not in hysterics."

"Why should I be?" I asked, "Penis plus vagina equal baby…d'you miss that part of 'The Talk'?"

"No but you're so young…" Lily was oblivious to the fact that she was the same age as me and taking the same chance with James that I had been taking with Sirius. If there's one thing I do not like, it's a hypocrite and hypocrisy does not suit someone whose as much of a smarty pants as Lily.

"Yeah, Lil, and I was old enough to decide to have sex so I'm old enough to deal with those consequences." It seemed like the way to handle the situation from where I was standing, the whole make-your-bed-and-lie-in-it thing, but where Evans was standing the situation should've been handled more along the lines of, "I can make you a Family Planning Potion."

I suppose that was the time that my mood swings kicked in because I said, "If you offer to kill my unborn child again, I will personally show you exactly why the Sorting Hat put me in Slytherin, clear Evans?"

James and Sirius looked at me like I had sprouted horns or something, Lily (ever used to those threats of bodily harm) didn't seem phased, Remus edged away like I might include him in the bodily harm and Peter snored away on the couch…bloody rat.

May 8, 1975

Was snuggling with Sirius when I had to sprint to the bathroom to avoid puking all over my boyfriend (who I suppose I could now term my baby's daddy but…seems a bit over the top…as does The Sperm-a-nator)

An hour later he had to force a Wretching Draught down my throat so that I could go to breakfast…in case your wondering that's EXACTLY where I wanted to be when I had been emptying my stomach for the better part of an hour, I wanted to be surrounded by greasy pork products, syrup, pancakes, waffles, eggs of every sort not to mention enough butter to grease Hagrid's hair everyday for the next decade. Oh it was lovely. (eye roll)

Let me assure you, if there is a Hell it is the Hogwarts breakfast table when you have morning sickness.

At one point, watching Peter devour this huge plate of bacon, pancakes loaded with syrup and about six eggs over-easy turned me into such a disturbing shade of green that Sirius knocked on my stomach and said, "Oi! Settle down in there! It's a womb, not a rave."

He can be SO dreadfully cute sometimes.

May 14, 1975

After days on end of puking my brains out in the morning, eating the most bizarre things for lunch (imagine chocolate covered bacon with a pickle on the side washed down with a mixture of Pepper-Up Potion, pumpkin juice and heavy cream with a cherry on top) and bursting into tears at awkward moments (like walking into Muggle Studies…oh wiat... that's not unusual.) we decided to call another emergency Marauder's Meeting to see if there was any hope to end the misery.

So another late night in front of the fireplace found me laying down with my head in Sirius' lap poking my stomach because I was convinced I had already gained about 2 million pounds, Lily resting her head on James' shoulder, Remus reading from a giant book called Magical Medical Inquiries and Answers as Peter curled up into a ball and snored beside the fire…ruddy rat!

Remus read, "Some symptoms like morning sickness-"

"More like Morning Death! You know, wake up, my what a lovely day, DEATH-" I snapped.

Remus continued as though I'd never interrupted, "- mood swings-"

"-Oh no, none of those at all-" Sirius motioned to his cheek which was finally beginning to lose the imprint of my hand. The stupid berk shouldn't have joked that 'The food you're eating reminds me of my house elf's clothes: out of place with each other and utterly disgusting.' To which I replied by slapping him and saying if he didn't want his cheeks to match he'd find me some ketchup, chocolate syrup and orange juice really fast.

"- odd eating habits including strange cravings-"

"-house elf britches-" James snorted.

"-an increased sex drive-"

"_Oh please Dear God give her that one!_" Sirius pleaded to the ceiling while Lily blessed us with yet another eye roll (we're up to 3, 977 in the past week).

"_Oh please_," she said, "you two shag enough to put rabbits to shame."

"Yeah but still!" Sirius pouted, "We could shag doubly as much. It's not as though we run the risk of knocking Aspen up or anything."

I slapped him for that and then burst into tears. Bloody mood swings.

As Sirius was rubbing my back and attempting to quiet me, he asked, "Moony, does that book say how long this is going to last?"

"It's different for everyone. Some people don't get it at all, some people have it from start to end."

That's when Sirius burst into tears.

May 21, 1975

_My Muggle Studies project is due in less than a month. I can't look at porridge without barfing. Pickled eggs with horseradish sauce and cayenne pepper has become the staple of my diet. I got detention for having an emotional outburst. My current boyfriend got into a fight with a couple of my ex-boyfriends and they are all sitting in the hospital wing. And Sirius is the biggest, stupidest git ever to walk the face of the earth._

_AND I WANT A DAMN BUTTERBEER RIGHT RUDDY NOW!_

May 24, 1975

So Sirius was finally released from hospital wing. The prat. If he hadn't almost broken his neck I would've broken it for him! Hooch was letting the House Quidditch teams teach they're respective first-years to fly because she wasn't feeling well.

So of course James and Sirius got to pair up. All four houses were out because it had been raining for so long that the lessons all got lumped on one day. And its always a good idea to have four rival Quidditch teams flying in one tiny pitch playing the "my broomstick is bigger then yours" game in front of a bunch of first-years.

Well…I decided to go out and support Sirius in his endeavor. I wasn't in school uniform and needless to say I was dressed…a bit provocatively. Well, it's not my fault! I was still skinny and I had made up my mind to enjoy my curves before they got out of hand!

Anyways, I was walking out to see Sirius, eating this really drippy ice cream cone and Amos Diggory makes this crack about how he missed seeing me that messy…which _pissed_ Sirius _off_. He's always been a real protective boyfriend and since we found out that I'm 'expectant' it's been like increased by a billion. But I managed to convince him to leave off Amos by reminding Sirius how much _he_ liked seeing me so…_messy_.

But when Daniel Abbott pinches your bum, Michael Fletchley whistles at you, Rudy Lestrange asks if I still prefer to go bra-less and Sirius' own ridiculous brother Regulus (whom I have never been so desperate as to go out with but whom has been harboring stalker-like feelings for me for years) makes a vulgar gesture with his broom and asks if I'm ready to experience the Blacker side of things….well…there's no restraining Sirius then.

He went for his brother first and then it somehow escalated into him being twenty feet in the air and wrestling with Avery on their brooms. Then Snivvy Wivvy (who couldn't ride a broom to save his greasy arse) decided that it would be a wonderful time to Stun Sirius, when he was twenty feet in the air.

And he fell. But he took Avery with him!

Considering the odds were like…one on (the rough estimate of my number of ex boyfriends inside the Hogwarts walls) four or five hundred, Sirius did well. But he scared the living daylights out of me when he fell and was all sprawled out and…I was crying and had to eat another ice cream, two butterbeers, a treacle tart and five Peppermint Pixies before I settled down.

That stupid, headstrong, idiot….god I love him.

May 27, 1975

Sirius has returned to my good graces. My birthdays not until June but he gave me an early birthday present.

He showed me the deed to a bigger apartment. He had sold his smaller flat and gotten a bigger one with that gold. It was the most we had talked about the future in a good long time, and it felt good to finally say everything that was going to have to be said.

And it did me a lot of good to actually hear (rather than assume) that he totally supported my decision to keep the baby. We both had a fair plot of gold, even though our rich pureblood families disowned us. He had the marks to go into Auror training (which is really time consuming but I wasn't going to have a lot of time to spend with him anyway if we had a toddler running about) and I decided that I was going to work on and off. It was going to be tight, and we knew it was going to be tight… but it was something we were both willing to do.

"I know we say it so much that the weight has worn off of it, but I really do love you." He said and I leaned in to kiss him…but had to break that off in order to sprint to the bathroom and vomit.

Well….we _knew_ it wasn't going to be easy.

May 31, 1975

Today will go down in history! The first morning without sickness! Woot! It was such a good morning! I could eat a regular breakfast (well, as regular as I get nowadays) consisting of blueberry pancakes with cheddar on them, kippers with whipped cream, burned toast with marshmallows and raspberries all washed down with Hot Cocoa that I had stirred with a stick of celery. James and Sirius make fun of my food while my appetite has caused Lily to lose her on numerous occasions. Remus, the werewolf, mind you this man has eaten bunny rabbits, dusty ottomans and a decent portion of his own body, was actually sickened by my meal choice at dinner last night. He fled to go vomit and when he came back I told him imagine that happening for about an hour every morning and that was what I had been going through.

Not to mention, during some late night recollections of this year I think I may have gotten an idea for my Muggle Studies project! Not only that, but Peter, Peter of all people, actually passed a transfiguration test!

And James and Lily announced that they had discussed moving in together after graduation as his parents were getting on and wanted him to move out this year so he could get used to living on his own.

The BEST MORNING EVER!

Later

Sometimes even the best of days can end like shit, I suppose.

The Prophet came out with startling news midday, right after my lunch of sea-bass with relish and tomato soup that I had put a banana in (damn good lunch, that's why I remembered). Anyway…that Voldemort character? The one who's like 'Kill all the Muggle-borns and blood-traitors'?...He attacked a this Muggle-born couple and their two kids today. They were Aurors that had been tracking him and his Death Eaters (these nutters in hoods that follow him about) and they attacked their house, destroyed it and killed everyone, even the kids. They put some kind of weird mark over the house, a head with a snake coming out the mouth.

I guess this day really will go down in history.

_Author's Note: as if you hadn't had enough author's notes, here's another. I've decided to just put May up as I probably won't finish writing June before I have to relinquish the room and then I wouldn't be able to update for a while, so you'll all have to deal._

_Sadly the fic has become a bit serious (on top of being Sirius!) but don't worry the hilarity will never stop._

_Here's a treat for those who read the author's notes at the very top: Now that we know Aspen's pregnant, the original premise was that she was an Animagus as well. Registered, of course. Her form was a dog and she and Sirius had right ol' good times as humans and canines. Basically the same story except, when she got pregnant, she was pregnant with puppies, not a baby so she wound up giving birth to seven puppies that turn into toddlers at one year old. _

_The idea is still in motion in another story on fanfiction that has been in a coma for a while, because it seems to me that that would be a stretch even for the world of JKR, but I still think it's funny to imagine the look on Sirius' face when the doctor's like…congratulation Mr. Black, you have puppies! _

_Do we vote to continue this diary after the graduation from Hogwarts? I've done the math and Harry would only be three and a half or four years younger then Sirius and Aspen's little bundle so I would like to continue until that fateful Halloween at Godric's Hollow…anyone game?_

_REVIEW PLEASE! (btw- Room of requirement? Good suggestion! Keep 'em coming everyone!)_


	6. Snogging Snivvy: The Truth Revealed

_Author's Notes: I've been looking forward to writing Aspen's birthday, which will be this month. _

_Keep those reviews coming! They're funnier to me then this story is to you._

**June 1975- The Marauder's Seventh and Final Month & Year at Hogwarts**

June 3, 1975

Ah the last month of Hogwarts! Not only that, but I turn eighteen this month! My Muggle Studies project is due by the fifteenth, then I turn eighteen the seventeenth, then we graduate the twentieth! It's just a happening month.

If it weren't for this Voldemort character, life would be just peachy (except for Muggle Studies but bugger them). More and more kids in our year are being pulled from Hogwarts because of attacks in the family. People are starting to really get concerned.

And I'm a bit concerned, got a weird letter today. The rest of the Marauder's did as well as a few other Gryffindors. It said: _Your graduation and career status is in question and we would like to discuss it with you at eight o'clock this evening in the office of Professor Dumbledore. You might find that a love for Peppermint Pixies might help you on your way._

_Sincerely, Professor Albus Dumbledore_

Well, let me tell you that sent Lily into a right fit, "I don't understand how my graduating is in question! I have the highest scores in the school! I haven't taken part in any of your silly pranks! James I will absolutely _murder_ you if you're the cause of all this fuss!"

James just kept his mouth shut and hoped he wasn't the cause. Sirius and I just shrugged, we'd been in trouble enough times to know that you never made any assumptions about your state of guilt until you find out what your being accused of. It could wait.

June 4, 1975

So, I've been invited to join a secret club. Well, great, now I feel like I'm five again! But seriously, Dumbledore brought us to his office and told us that this Voldemort character was serious business indeed and that he had formed a group to fight against him as the Ministry is about as useful as a nun at a whorehouse when it comes to hunting criminals (except for this mad auror, Moody. The man's insane, quite certifiably! My kind of fellow, I think).

This was called the Order of the Pheonix and he had called together the most promising students to help him in his endeavors (once we were graduated, of course, we couldn't do much until then).

So that's fun. I'd be more excited if I didn't have to write to Madame Malkin's about making me a new robe for my Muggle Studies project on the double.

June 8, 1975

Bugger! Bugger! Bugger! Only a week until Muggle Studies project and Malkin's _still_ hasn't finished my robe! This is bad, very bad. The other robe I need I can write Sirius' cousin Andromeda for a _Un-Taming the Shrew_ band tee-shirt. All I need then is knowledge…hmm…where does one buy knowledge.

June 11, 1975

Damn you Malkin! Damn you! If I fail Muggle Studies because of you, it is OVER! Wands Out! I will slander you until the cows come home!

God, I need an egg roll….and some cookie dough….and some hot sauce….and some sex.

June 14, 1975

I'm going to fail, there's no two ways about it, I'm going to fail because Madame Malkins is incompetent. This is going to sour up my birthday…not to mention that I still have to study for the rest of my NEWTs. Does this woman have no consideration for an emotional teen with a Muggle Study final to pass?

It's going to take a lot of Sirius' energy to make me feel better about this.

June 15, 1975

So Malkin's sent me an owl this morning containing the robe I needed for Muggle Studies. I think I may have to buy that woman a present, it's perfect.

I might just pass this thing…

LATER

So….I GOT AN A! To HELL with everyone who thought I was going to fail! So, of course I have to follow Randy-Bloody-Patil and his phenomenal presentation on Comparing Muggle Football to Quidditch. Of course I had to go after the person with the highest average in the class and who's going into a job in the Muggle Relations Bureau at the Ministry.

But I did fucking fantastic!

I came in dressed in the _Un-Taming the Shrew London Tour 1973_ tee shirt, my hair all spikey (well…as spikey as you can make curly hair without a lot of pain) wearing some old jeans and trainers. One flick of my wand and the _Shrews_ biggest hit "Best Beware My Sting" and I sang the song. When it was done I peeled off the jeans and the shirt to reveal a sequined red halter top and matching pants, one flick of my wand and my hair turned into two puffs on my head, another flick and music started playing.

I sand "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, much to the approval of my classmates. My Professor gave me this evil look when the song ended and asked if there was a point to singing.

"Yes sir, the point is both are modern songs, the first from the wizarding world and the second from the muggle world. If you read the lyrics you'll see that they're telling the same story, they're both about scorned women who dated pricks and are now over them. They're about the strength of women which is growing in both worlds in the areas of job availability and pay.

"You'll also notice that both had very similar sounds, basically because we use a lot of the same instruments. Piano and guitar and drums. Both worlds currently favor these free-sounding beats, nothing you can dance to but stuff you can move to, it's not about conforming to steps its about expression. We agree on that. The differences appear in style. Witches are currently favoring, tee-shirts and jeans which is a big difference from wearing robes on stage. Muggles are currently into bell bottomed jeans and sequins and halter tops, they're into showing a lot of skin and owning your femininity.

"Sexuality to both worlds is having a boom, this is the era of sexual freedom though for different reasons, which you can hear in the songs. The Muggle songs are talking about a sexual revolution, the war they are fighting is figurative. Our war is literal, we are literally fighting a mad wizard bent on causing a lot of chaos, so our sexuality is based on the war-time desire to live before you die."

Everyone was really quiet.

"Miss Stanton…I never thought I would say this but not only did you pass….you earned yourself an A. Congratulations, you actually passed."

Ha bloody ha!

I told Sirius that this means we throw me a HUGE Birthday Party, we can double it as a graduation party, invite everyone, steal a bunch of food from the kitchens, kip into Hogsmeade and buy out the Three Broomsticks!

And that's about when Evans came in and said, "You two remember about the NEWTs tomorrow! Potions, DADA, Herbology and Transfiguration!"

I hexed her so that her massive hair got into a knot that said "Teacher's Pet"…took five and half hours to comb out. Ha BLOODY ha!

June 16, 1975

So even though I think I pretty much got Trolls on Herbology and Potions, might have scraped a couple of Exceeds Expectations in DADA and Transfiguration. Thank Merlin I won't ever have to go near an Advanced Potions book ever again!

I would be pestering Sirius to spoil me now, but he's disappeared. So have James, Lily, Remus, the rat and that bloody map they love so much.

This could be interesting….

June 17, 1975 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! **

I woke up alone in Sirius' bed, which isn't a good sign as nothing can wake him up. Nothing. The Cruciatus Curse would not interrupt Sirius' nap-time. But he was awake. And on the loose. Never a good omen.

So naturally I was on my guard. Prepared for a birthday prank from the Marauders. I found a note pinned to the curtains of Sirius' bed:

_Follow the Map to Room of Requirement (remember the Room of Requirement?)…don't be seen! And move your arse! _

Of _course_ I remembered the Room of Requirement! Our first date….ah the good times! The candles! The romance! The whips! But that memory is for another time…

So I'm following the Marauder's Map to the Room of Requirement, and there's no one around. I mean, the common room's empty, the halls are vacant…even Filtch and his bloody cat are MIA. How odd is that?

So I finally get around to the Room of Requirement. Manner dictate that I must knock before entering but when was I _ever_ polite?

I barged right in like I owned the joint and…

"_Oh! Dear God!_ Will _someone_ get James and Lily a _room_! Ah! I mean, _really_, you lot! _Children_ could've walked in here and been scarred for _life_!"

James and Lily popped apart, both turning this fantastic shade of red. Everyone laughed and Sirius pranced up to me, gave me the biggest, sloppiest kiss and said, "Happy Birthday!"

James raised his butterbeer, "And in addition, Happy Graduation!"

I pretended to be appalled.

"So _that's_ the real reason you lot are all here! Well, bugger to you too!"

I took a butterbeer and proceeded to celebrate graduating with most of the 7th year (the nutters and prats excluded (that meant I was pretty much the only Slytherin there).

It was a brilliant party. Definitely in the history book of Hogwarts. There were fireworks, food (God, the house-elfs died and went to Heaven for this feast!), butterbeer, Firewishkey (which I didn't drink one drop of I'll have you know) and a game of Strip Simon Says that included every member of the graduating class.

I was made "Simon" on account of "enough of Hogwarts having seen me naked already".

The first one to lose was Peter (cause he's a ruddy idiot) and after seeing that, everyone voted to play something that didn't involve any sort of nudity. Poor Petey, he was really looking forward to having sex before he hit forty. Oh well, we can't always have what we want know can we?

About an hour after I got there, Remus waved his wand and conjured a HUMUNGUS cake out of thin air. On it were the four House symbols of Hogwarts and the words _Congratulations Class of 1975! Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Marauders._

It was halfway through my third slice of cake (white cake with a strawberry filling, cream topping, chocolate shavings and soy sauce) (I was the only one with soy sauce but don't knock it 'til you try it!) that I thought I saw a greasy little worm.

"Snivvy-Wivs? How did you get in here?" Snape looked at me as though I had grown snakes for hair (a look I had considered a few years back, but then you have to feed them and they shed and yuck).

Apparently, sir Snivvy had decided to crash the party. As Sirius was approaching him, wand in hand (James was leashed in by Lily, the man needs to reclaim his testicles from her immediately), I decided I would join in. After all, what's wrong with having a bit of harmless fun?

I disarmed him and wondered aloud what kind of candy (if any) would fall out of a Snape piñata when he said, "Why can't you just let me go? For old times sake?"

"Old times sake!" Sirius doubled over as though he'd been kicked in the balls, a couple of dry heaves later he looked up again, "You have old times with…with _Snape_? I've shagged someone that …."

He dry heaved a couple more times, he couldn't bring himself to end the sentence.

I gave Snape the evil look and waved my wand, tying the long ends of his hair over his head in a greasy black bow, "Severus, there is no way, by any stretch of the imagination, that you can consider ten minutes in a broom closet after my boyfriend from London dumped me 'old times'. That is called hideous, even obscene, desperation."

Hissing at me like a deranged cat Snape dove for his wand, "_Sectumsempra!" _

Well, nothing ends a party like a bleeding birthday girl.

_Sectumsempra_ was something Snape invented, as far as we could gather. It's purpose was basically to cut you pretty deeply and make you bleed. Which it did. None of the playground healing charms we all knew and loved worked against it, so this was, most unfortunately, the part of the party where Sirius and James teamed up, hexed Snape into a new millennia, and carried me to the hospital wing.

Halfway there Filtch picked up the scent of stained carpets and followed the trail (like he cared that it was blood and was leading towards the hospital wing, the bastard) until he was berating the Marauders and I as I sat there bleeding. As soon as Sirius lay me on a cot and let Madame Pomphrey get to healing me he turned and started to give it back to Filtch good.

A flick of the wand later Madame P was breaking up the growing fight between my hotheaded boyfriend and the Inferi we referred to as Filtch. Just as tempers were cooling down Mrs. Norris pranced into the room with something in her mouth. When Filtch took it he looked as though Christmas had come early, which is never a good thing as his ideal present was to see all four Marauders hanging by their thumbs in the dungeon for a few days.

"Well, well, well…what have we here?" He held out the parchment and we all blanched. It was the Marauder's Map.

"What do you lot have to say about this? Is this how you lot caused so much trouble?" He had barely gotten a chance to study the map when I reached over, my wand concealed in a sleeve of my robe, and said, "I guess you could say it got our _mischief managed_."

When he looked down again, the parchment was blank and he looked at me as though he was going to throttle me.

"Make the map come back! Make this work!" But we found that you couldn't. Madame Pomphrey even tried to lend a hand, pointing her wand at the paper and saying, "Would you be ever so kind as to show yourself to Mr. Filtch?"

Ink appeared on the parchment:

_Though Madame Pomphrey is a dear, we have to decline her request and would like to add that if Mr. Filtch would like to see the Map, he should kiss our asses._

_Sincerely- Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs_

Well, _that_ went over well with Filtch, you can well imagine.

He confiscated the Map and I apologized to the group, saying it had probably fallen out of my pocket. James just shrugged, "It's not like we could've taken it with us anyway, it only works inside Hogwarts."

Sirius sighed, "Yeah, hopefully some truly mischievous kids will come across it one day and bring it back to glory…hate for that to go to waste."

Peter looked like he was going to cry, "All that work and Filtch got it!"

All three boys fixed him with a death glare.

"Yes you worked so hard on that one, Peter," Remus said, "but I wouldn't worry. The Map will finds its way into the hands of troublemakers worthy of it. It won't like being dormant forever."

And on that note we all trudged up to Gryffindor tower and into the boys' dorm. I was surprised Lily was following us, as normally she doesn't like crossing that particular line, but I soon found out why. Inside the boys dorm was a stack of brightly wrapped presents.

"Oh you guys…" I was speechless.

We all sat in a circle and everyone took the boxes belonging to them. Lily went first, handing me a thick rectangular box.

"Listen, I know I wasn't very supportive of your decision with the baby…but I thought I'd make it up to you."

Inside the box were maternity shirts with the sayings "Hot Mama" and "Made in the 70s" and "Baby on Board" and "My Other Shirt is a Nursing Bra". They were magic so they would always stretch with my stomach and would never stain, no matter what the little brat did to them.

James' box was obviously wrapped by Lily (number two in the class and he can't wrap a bloody package), inside the large box was a sizably package of Peppermint Pixies, a bottle of Tabasco Sauce ("Aw, Prongs, why'd you have to give her that? Now it'll be _everywhere_.") and a photo album consisting of all the many moment that I could (barely) remember from Christmas and New Years. There were also two more photo albums that were empty entitled "The First Mini Marauder" and "Barely Graduating Hogwarts, 1975".

"Aw, James!" I felt tears welling up and hugged him with a vengeance.

Remus pushed over his present next, there was a book _Magical Mistakes, Helpful Spells for The Times When Parenting Isn't Enough_ ("Is this a knock on our currently untested parenting skills, Moony?"), and a new diary (not that I don't love this one…it's just…the pages are getting full). I gave him a kiss cause he's so sweet.

I will never know what goes on in that enormous round thing we call a head that Peter wears on his head, but he got me a Honey-Do, which is this annoying thing you stick on the cupboard and it bitches at you to do chores and stuff. I guess it's the thought that counts, I patted his hand.

Sirius produced a box and I said, "You already got me a present!"

"Well, I got you another one, open it!" He looked more excited about opening it then I did.

Inside was a biker jacket that matched his. Pulling his own on he also demonstrated two charms he'd worked on. If he tapped the back of my jacket it said "I Like Riding the Bitch Seat And So Does My Boyfriend" and if you tapped his it said, "If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off".

After that they brought out this tiny cake that Lily swears she made without the help of the house elves. I don't know who was more upset, the house elves that they couldn't cook it or us that they didn't cook it. But we forced it down and we all fell asleep on the floor amid blankets, pillows and a lot of laughter.

I sincerely hoped that we could have times like these after graduation…these were the moments life was made for.

**TBC (still coming in June: the graduation of Hogwarts class of 1975!)**

_Author's Note: Hey, look at that! I updated! But guess what….June's not over! Oh my._

_I will post the graduation scene separately, as I think enough went on so far._

_You're reviews are priceless to me, don't take that away!_

_REVIEW!_

_I promise I will update as soon as humanly possible, remember I'm kind of restricted at the moment with the availability of the computer. _


	7. Mischief Managed

_Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while, I kind of funnied myself out for a bit. But here it is, the long awaited graduation of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot (and family) and Prongs (plus Lily)._

_BTW- since Rowling hasn't covered the whole graduation process (and if Harry does in Book 7 what he says he was going to do in Book Six) we probably won't ever see it, so I'm making it up, if you don't like it…boo on you. (smiles, I'm just kidding I would never say boo to my readers…when they can hear me)_

_Machiavelli Jr- As always your review brought a smile to my face and thank you for pointing out that I misspelled Filch, my spell-check is repulsed by half the names and words of Harry Potter so its just me guessing, and I guessed wrong. But since I never admit I am wrong, I thought this would be a wonderful place to start so thanks again and hope to see another amusing review from you! _

_Yes even Wormtail graduates, though I like making fun of him even I'm not mean enough to not let him graduate._

**June 19, 1975- The Graduation of Hogwarts Class of 1975 (including Wormtail!) And the Last days in Hogwarts of Moon, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.**

June 19, 1975- **WE'RE GRADUATING! HA _BLOODY_ HA TO EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT I COULDN'T DO IT!**

We all woke up about ten minutes before the actual granting of diplomas. As we ran in there, pulling on our robes and attempting to open our eyes Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes at us (rolled them better than Lily even and _that's_ not easy) and said, "Thank you very much for gracing us with your presence."

Sirius gave a little bow, "Anytime Professor!"

I smiled, "Really, Professor, we haven't been on time to a single class in seven years, did you think we were just going to change that because we're graduating? We've got a reputation to uphold!"

She smiled, she might deny it but she smiled and shook her head and waved us to our seats. Basically there was going to be talking. _A lot _ of bloody talking.

Dumbledore stood up, "I would like to congratulate you all on surviving through all seven years here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. During this time of joy I must sadly issue a caution: the world beyond the walls of Hogwarts is not as safe as that within. While you may all go about enjoying the fullness of your youth while it lasts, know that there is such a thing as evil in this world.

"But do not take this warning as license for fear. For we must not fear anything but fear in and of itself. Instead, I tell you, turn to love. For it is in love that we find a light in the darkest of places and solve the most hideous of problems.

"And now I would like to turn to the Heads of Houses, who each have a piece to say."

Well, all that nonsense is simply each Head of House giving an award to the student who exemplifies the qualities of their house the best. First Ravenclaw went and Randy Patil was awarded most likely to become a brown-noser or some such nonsense. Hufflepuff gave this Abbott woman the Look-At-Me-I'm-The-Kindest-Person-In-The-Bleeding-World-And-Don't-You-Forget-It award. Slughorn stood up for Slytherin and I was thinking that he was going to give something to one of the Slytherin Brady Bunch (You know, Lucius, Narcissa, Snivvy, Bellatrix and her monkey of a boyfriend and a few others) but instead he said:

"I spent many hours deliberating over the choice for Slytherin House. Slytherin's are noted as being ruthless and self-serving. It's not that we are not as brave or as talented as the other houses (Note that he said _nothing_ about Hufflepuff, there's not a Slytherin alive who truly thinks Hufflepuff isn't the garbage bin house but…they're not _all_ bad- just most of them) but we choose mostly to seek personal enlightenment and advancement. Having said that, I want to say that we have many students this year who would make Salazar Slytherin proud-"

"And they all run about with hoods over their faces scaring Muggleborns-" I snorted.

"- but there is one that I feel has the most…self-confidence. The most guts. The least amount of concern for doing things in any way other then how she wants them done. With an attitude like this, I think she will be able to easily reach out and grasp anything she wants…and grasp it with style…"

"Just who is he going on about?" I hissed to the table.

"…I'm sure everyone will agree with me when I say, one day Aspen Stanton is going to make headlines!"

"Oh bloody hell." I hid my face in my hands. The Slytherin table was quiet as church mice but everyone else cheered, though no table as loudly as the Gryffindors. Sirius kissed me and pinched my bum as I went up to get my award.

Apparently I had to say something, so I just looked at the silver and emerald snake I was holding and said, "Well…thanks for saying I'm the Best Slytherin…I guess biggest prat might go to a Gryffindor for the first time ever…don't blush James, it's a marvelous award…"

People giggled, so I suppose I was doing alright.

"I would like to thank Sluggy-Wuggy for not holding my stupidity against me but most importantly I would like to thank McGonagall for recalling that marvelous rule of innocent until proven guilty.

"And Dumbledore, sir, keep on rocking. To the rest of you nutters, I hope I never see the majority of you again." I winked and blew them kisses, and everyone cheered.

Next Professor McGonagall stood up and cleared her throat, "Thank you Miss Stanton. Now on to Gryffindor. Gryffindor is well known to be the house associated with loyalty and bravery. I was reminded of this when I sat down to make my choice. For the past seven years, no body has shown better loyalty to each other or a greater sense of bravery then the group of boys known as the Marauders. While they're bravery may be misconstrued as rule-breaking, they showed an ability to fight against the odds…even if those odds were Mr. Filch. Therefore, would Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter all come forward to collect their rewards."

A tumultuous applause went up and Lily and I went beserk. We were jumping all over the boys and kissing them and absolutely everyone (but the stupid Slytherins) went _mad_ for the Marauders. The boys made their way to the podium and all took hold of one golden and ruby lion.

James pushed his way to the pedestal first, "You like us, you _really_ like us!"

He pretended to bat away tears as Sirius nudged into speaking position, "Aww, McGonagall, I never knew you cared! Here I thought you were going to shove us out of the school as fast as humanly possible and you're giving us an award…I'm touched."

He and James pretended to sob on each other's shoulders as Remus made to talk, "Though I'm sure there are those in the school that would like nothing better then to hang all of us by our thumbs in the dungeons for a week-"

The whole of the Great Hall turned to look at Mr. Filch who was in such a state of shock he could scarcely breathe.

"- It's nice to know that seven years of pranking has earned us the same honor we would've gotten for-" He motioned to Randy Patil, "studying our arse's off," He motioned to Georgina Abbott, "or being an uncommonly kind and accepting person," he motioned to me, "or by letting nothing stand between us and a good snog."

"HEY!" I cried, pretending to be indignant. Sirius pretended to punch Moony and then continued to speak, "Listen you lot, some of you know us…the rest of you have been pranked by us but either way you know that we're genuinely nice guys who are just out for a bit of fun in a ruddy boring world. And aside from saying that no one is more grateful then me that Aspen knows a good shag when she sees one, I have to turn the spotlight to James."

James stepped back up, a smug look on his face, "I may have become Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, I may be incredibly good-looking and intelligent-"

"And oh so modest!" Lily shouted from her seat next to me.

"-and I know everyone will be sad to see me and my mates leave. So we just have one last thing to say to you…Peter? Do the honors?"

Peter scurried up to the front of the podium and gently placed their trophy on the floor. He then cleared his throat and brandished his wand, "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good!"

All four boys whipped out their wands and shouted, "MISCHIEF MANAGED!"

At that every hat in the Great Hall whizzed forward and assembled themselves into one gigantic hat. This hat promptly burst out into song and confetti rained down from the enchanted ceiling.

_Of all the many wonders_

_That Hogwarts has to show_

_There are four that take the cake_

_And of them you must know._

_Sirius Black's the handsome one,_

_Dark, handsome and tall,_

_But he'll give you Jelly Legs,_

_Should you meet him in the hall._

_Now Remus Lupin reads his books,_

_And does his homework too,_

_But this bookworm has wormed out,_

_Of putting Dungbomb's in the teacher's loo._

_Peter Pettigrew's the short one,_

_Bringing up the rear,_

_But careful or this little runt,_

_Will sprout daisies out your ear._

_Lastly there is James Potter,_

_The messy-haired great git,_

_Who could jinx you in a way,_

_That would make it hard to sit._

_The Marauders are the greatest pranksters,_

_The world has ever seen,_

_And just in case you didn't know,_

_We will tell you what that means._

_They've broken nearly every one_

_Of Hogwarts' sacred rules,_

_And found every way,_

_In and out the school._

_They've waltzed through the Forbidden Forest_

_They've perused the grounds,_

_They've caused more mischief then Peeves,_

_As outrageous as that sounds._

_Filch has banned more items_

_Because of these four mates,_

_Then had existed,_

_Since Hogwarts opened up its gates!_

_So laugh it up! Let's hear applause!_

_We're going out in style!_

_But don't worry, we'll be back!_

_Though it might be a while!_

There was an applause the likes the world has never seen. Even the teachers gave a standing ovation.

We ate dinner in a relatively sedate fashion, with the exception of Peter choking on the confetti in his soup, and afterwards we were allowed to have free time before we have to pack up and leave the next day. So the lot of us headed down to the lake.

We decided that, since James had been sweet enough to get me a photo album, we might as well fill in. So Lily took out her camera and we snapped away. A picture of the Marauders, a picture of the boys giving each other rabbit ears.

Then Sirius and I got photographed in the middle of a pretty intense snog and rebelled by declaring war on James and Lily. But they kept their hands pretty much tame and all I got was this shot of a polite peck on the cheek. OOO, they were good.

After many rolls of film and a lot of laughs, we struggled back up to Gryffindor Tower. One lazy flick of the wand and we packed our trunks.

As we all laid in a massive pile of blankets and pillows thrown on the floor, I thought about this year. It was our last year and we went out with a bang. A lot had happened, and I had a feeling a lot more would happen.

But one thing was certain about our lot, we were going to do whatever came at us with flair.

After all, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

And it's better to shag than to snog.

Which is what I've got to go do to my boyfriend. We've decided to have one last go in Hogwarts…one last go on Filch's desk. It's the only place we haven't shagged in the building and…and if your going to be naughty, just be _bad_.

Tootles!

_Author's Note: OMG! That's the end! Raging tears. Well, not really. I like Aspen, and I like her diary. So I think maybe instead of doing a traditional fic, I'll just keep with these diary entries. _

_Next Diary: her and Sirius moving in together and everyone getting jobs and the return of the Big V (Voldemort) as well as further pregnancy symptoms. _

_And even the baby's room!_

_This brings about the most important question: How do the Marauder's throw a baby-shower?_

_REVIEW! And put me on Author Alert, you never know when I'm gonna put the next part up. But it'll probably be a similar title, Diary of a Mad Black Family: A Sirius Matter (?) that's just off the top of my head but it sounds good._

_What say you all? REVIEW!_


End file.
